Certain events

During one's life there are certain events that happen to you and makes you feel different for a long time afterwards. The list is long, but your first kiss, the first time you fucked, your children being born, are good examples of positive events that make this differentness occur. However there are negative variants, one of which I shall share with you now.

It all started last thursday as I met a friend for lunch, and a nice afternoon in the park. Now it this point the first few beers were enjoyed, and a few more friends suggested an evening on the town. I of course said yes, as I have the willpower and strength of Shane McGowan when it comes to having fun with alcohol involved.

Now, as the night progressed I started drinking a lot quickly, as I could sense an argument brewing between me and a few others. Contrary to the mainstream of the population, I calm down a lot when I drink. Fast forward a bit to a point where I remember buying a beer and a shot at the bar. Bang! Blackout.

I wake up at some point on a very flat matrass. It was covered in plastic and blood, and so was the pillow. I touch my head, and it hurts like a motherfucker. Also, my hand turned sticky from the blood. Confused i lay down again, drunk, and besides, i didn't really want to know what happened. Later on i was awakened by a very stressed out nurse, apparently i'm not supposed to be falling asleep as I have a concussion. I was in Hospital! Well fuck me, im drunk, its kind of hard not to fall asleep with an alcohol percentage higher than my blood pressure. Anyways, a few hours on i start to remember a few small things. I shall repeat them in order of occurance.

1. Me being in a completely different pub from my friends
2. Me using a credit card to buy two shots of "gammel dansk"
3. Me + the long stairs at the bishop = Me falling down
5. Me sitting on the pavement while the bartender calls the ambulance, bleeding more than a lesbian festival
6. Thinking "oh fuck" in the ambulance

Then blackout again. Keep in mind, these are all 1 second memories from a time period of maybe 8-9 hours.

The damage report the doctor gave me stated that I had AKUTE alcohol poisining, and also a series of serious cuts in my scalp. In addition, most of the backside of my body was covered in small cuts and bruises that no one could explain. I also had to pay 300 kr for them to staple my head together. After the payment was taken care of, a friend that came to pick me up and we left trying to piece together last nights events.

Btw, my blood alcohol was still 2.0 seven hours later. That means drunk, folks. I probably would be sent home from a pub if i tried entry ;)

So i guess this is the He-Man moment where i explain the lesson of this.

1 Absolutely no weekday drinking, unless work is taken care of (that was also a problem with being held for twelve hours, people at work tend to be annoyed when you don't show up).
2 No booze, under no circumstanses, only aquavita at christmas because its tradition and it tastes like shit.
3 Less beer, at no point during the last 18 months has me being drunk led to good thing. 60% mediocrity, 35% too drunk for fun, 5% dangerous events and encounters.
4 No drinking when angry and/or seriously uncomfortable, as it leads to violations of points 2-3
5 No pubs with many and narrow steps to the bathroom
6 A little break for now

There you have it folks, a longwinded story with little or no payoff. Tune in next time when i write about my clogged sinuses and related health problem. Bai